26September2018

Andaman Chronicle

The Daily Diary of the Islands

Scriptwriting for the Media..!

Is it my imagination that tells me there was an urgent call from the Prime Minister to the actress in charge of the Information ministry, “Madam minister what are you doing to the press?”

“Nothing honorable prime minister, just helping them memorize their lines! We all go through it sir, we forget our script and start saying fake things which has nothing to do with the movie!”

“What script, what movie?” I imagine a harried PM must have asked.

“Our movie sir we are directing together, and like I said sir, as Tulsi even I used to sometimes say my own lines and the director would get very angry!”

“You are talking about the television serials you used to act in?”

“Yes sir, and which you were very impressed by my roles and made me a minister!”

“I liked the impact you had on the women of India! Very powerful lines!” I imaginethe prime minister must have admitted.

“Powerful lines written by a script writer sir!”

“Script writer?”

“Yes sir, which is why I feel these media fellows need to understand that we are the writers of their scripts!Their job sir is only to deliver our lines to the public like I did as an actress!”

“You are saying those powerful lines of yours in ‘KyunkiSaasBhiKabhi Bahu Thi,’ were not your lines?”

“Ofcourse not Mr Prime Minister, you think I am capable of making such lines?Next you will say the press are capable of writing their own stories! But did you like my lines sir, the ones I delivered in the serials?”

“Yes, but..”

“Good scriptwriting sir, which the scribes are missing today! These journalists need us to set them right! You and me, then we can have the plot totally in control. We cannot have fake lines which is what I told them. If you do not follow our script, off with your heads!”

“Off with your heads, my god!” a worried PM, I imagine, must have whispered.

“I mean off with their accreditations!”

“May I ask you a question madam minister?”

“YesMr Prime Minister, it is your right to do so!”

“Who wrote this script for you? This off with your heads script?”

“You did sir!”

“I?”

“Yes sir, I have the script somewhere. Here it is! See these are your lines sir, about the press and fake news!”

“Oh no!” I imagine the prime minister sighing as he looks at the script the minister holds up to him, “My dear madam, you have mixed up the pages!”

“Mixed up sir?”

“Yes, these lines you’ve gone and read out come later in our play. It takes place after the Karnataka elections!”

“Oh I’m sorry sir!”

“No it’s okay, continue rehearsing them, meanwhile I’ll tell the press those lines are withdrawn!”

“Thank you sir, thank you, I think we nearly lost the plot..!”

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