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With so much cricket being played in the Indian sub continent, other sports are beginning to suffer and a secret meeting was called to address this issue.“I call the meeting to order!” shouted the Chairman, who it was believed could beat anybody in a game of Monopoly, “Order! Order!” he shouted again, but the delegates representing other sports and games hardly listened to him. “Sit down everybody!” he shouted. The delegates finally sat down, looking gloomily at the chairman. “Today we need a solution to topple cricket from its pedestal!” he said. “Any suggestions?”
There was pin drop silence in the hall, “There’s a political party in Bombay that has much practice in digging up pitches!” said the Scrabble delegate.
“They’ve turned rusty!” said the chairman, “Haven’t dug one up for twenty years, after Pakistan stopped playing in Bombay!”
There was another sigh of despondency in the room.
“I have an idea!” said the representative for football, “We could do for cricketers what was done to Indian captain Virat Kohli!”
There was a buzz in the room, and even though nobody knew what he was talking about, there was now an air of expectancy in the otherwise hall of despair, “And what may we ask sir, was done to Virat Kohli?” asked the chairman.
“He was hooked into marriage by an actress!” said the footballer.
“So?” asked the scrabble delegate who looked down at football and outdoor games with an air of intellectual superiority, “So how would marriage bring cricket down?”
“Look!” said the footballer opening a newspaper, “What is Virat doing?”
“Clicking a selfie with his bride in Italy!”
“And this?”
“Another selfie with his bride and the prime minister!”
“And this?”
“It’s another with his new bride!”
“Can you imagine what is happening?” asked the footballer as he glanced around the hall with a smile, “Virat is falling prey to the greatest addiction on earth, the selfie addiction! All we have to do is to get all the cricketers addicted to selfies and we just take over! While they click we play!”
“Hurrah!” shouted the members of the hall together, “We have finally found a solution to this cricket madness!”
There was a sudden noise as the wives of all the delegates rushed onto the stage, “What’s happening?” asked the chairman as the women pulled out their phones and posed with the delegate who was going to free them from the stranglehold of cricket.
“This is wonderful!” shouted the football delegate as he posed with one wife then another and also some of their sisters and daughters, “All of them want to take a selfie with me! How long I havewaited to be selfied like this!”
“He’s becoming addicted!” whispered the chairman into the mike, “Let us adjourn immediately, before the selfie makes not just Kohli but all of us addicts to it..!”
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By Yogi Ashwini
In this article, we conclude our series on Chakra Beej Asans, where we discussed the Chakra Beej Kriya, a set of asans and dhwanis that taps into the phenomenal power of six major chakras in the body namely, Mooladhar, Swadhishthan, Manipoorak, Anahad, Vishuddhi and Agya chakras. Having successfully completed the asans and mantras for the six major chakras, we move onto relaxing the body with Yog Nidra. It is extremely important to relax the body and various energy points to distribute the energy generated in the process of kriya.
Yognidra: For this, lie down in shavasana with your body loose, feet slightly apart and palms on either side of the body, facing skyward. Close your eyes and watch your breath at the tip of the nostrils. With one deep inhalation, take your awareness to the left big toe, then all the toes in your left foot, slowly moving upwards to entire foot, ankle, knee and from here gently move up the entire left leg. Similarly then take your awareness to your right big toe and gently move upwards keeping awareness of each and every part of the right leg. Now bring your awareness on the left arm and move upwards very slowly from fingertips to the shoulder observing each and every body part. Now move to the right arm repeat the same. Next you take your awareness to the abdomen, all the internal organs, lower back, upper back, upto the top of the head, visiting each and every cell and organ and relaxing and nourishing it with the strength of your awareness. Next be aware of the weight in the body and drop this weight in the core of the earth, leaving your body light and weightless. Next be aware of a whitish blue light at the top of the head and sweep your body seven times with this light, from head to toe.
Now take your awareness to the center of the chest cavity (anahad chakra) and from here, holding the hand of your guru, drop all your awareness, let go. Let there be no thoughts or movements beyond this point. Come back when you feel like. Whenever you come back, enter the body through the agya (crown) chakra, pay reverence to the Guru and once again become aware of the entire body brimming with youthful strength and glow. Open your eyes and look at the centre of your palms first, then the whole body.
Yog Nidra has the instant effect of soothing and calming the body and also replenishing it. As you perform this kriya, gradually the glow increases and breath stabilises. The energy that has been generated is directed towards strengthening various parts of the body through these asans and beej mantras.
It is advised that you visit your nearest Dhyan Foundation center to learn the correct way to practice asans. The effect of all these asans becomes manifold when practiced under the guidance of your Guru who channelises energy into each asan.
Yogi Ashwini is the Guiding Light of Dhyan Foundation and an authority on the Vedic Sciences. His book, 'Sanatan Kriya, The Ageless Dimension' is an acclaimed thesis on anti-ageing. Log onto to www.dhyanfoundation.com or mail to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. for more .
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It was a Hand!
I’d been told I’d never seenit before. It had arrived at the Indian port late at night, and the captain who I luckily knew had asked me if I was interested in having a look at it, “You mean this Hand travelled all by itself?” I asked, and the captain nodded. I looked at the door of the first-class cabin, “And it’s travelled in style!” I said more to myself, but the captain who heard me above the din and bustle of the ship nodded, “It’s always travelled in a classy way,” he smiled.
“You’ve had it travelling with you before?” I asked, and the captain nodded, “Last year during the US elections, and was received by Clinton!”
“Hilary?” I asked surprised.
“Yes!” she came on board and escorted it to the newspaper offices, and after she lost the elections, she blamed the Hand!”
“Yes,” I remember,” I said, “She said Russia’s hand in her election had made her lose!”
We knocked, the door opened and the Hand stood all by itself inside.“You’re not Russian!” I said looking with astonishment at the handsome Foreign Hand wearing the traditional attire of Pakistan.
“I can be all things to all people, and some things to some people!” said the Hand, “Today I have been invited here as a Pakistani Hand!”
“Who invited you?” I asked brusquely.
“Your Prime Minister himself!” smiled the handsome Foreign Hand.
“But why would he call you?” I stammered, “He’s not too fond of the country you come from?”
“Well he seemed to need my help in the elections he’s fighting in his home state!” said the Foreign Hand, “Didn’t you read your newspapers?He said Pakistan is working with Rahul Gandhi to fix the elections!”
“The foreign hand!” I mused.
“Usually used in desperate circumstances!” smiled the Hand, “Everybody loves a conspiracyaccusation! World leaders use me all the time, especially when they want to get their people to forget their immediate problems and focus instead on some bogey enemy threat…”
“Foreign interfering Hand!” I said immediately as the Hand smiled.“Will you be staying awhile?”
“I guess till the Gujarat elections are over!” said the Hand.
I put out my hand to shake his, but found there was nothing there, “Whoa! Whoa!” I said, “You are a ghost?”
“I am a fantasy!” said the Hand, “I take the shape of whatever I am supposed to be. Today I am Pakistani, last year I was Russian, very often I become Chinese and world leaders mould me, craft me to whatever fearful shape they want to imposeon their people!”
The cell phone rang in the cabin and the Foreign Hand picked it up, “Yes Theresa, I’ll come to London! Sure, I can come looking like a terrorist!”
I walked away in disgust as the Foreign Hand instructed the captain to take him to Gujarat..!
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It was a scene of joy and revelry! The Christmas tree glistened with glitter, its branches laden with blue and red balls. Snow shown white on its branches and mistletoe and green wreaths hung everywhere. Santa stood near the tree, a look of contentment and satisfaction on his red face as he took another swig from his bottle and stared at Mrs Santa, “It’s been a good season!” he said taking another swig, then waving at the reindeer who peeped in through his window.
The doorbell rang!
“Who can it be?” asked Santa to himself, as he stopped the Jingle Bells tune which had been playing in his home and all the homes throughout the world, “Who could be ringing my bell today?” He took another swig ashis doorbell rang again.
“Who are you?” asked Santa opening the door then staring with surprise at the official notice that was thrust in his face, “You a lawyer?”
“Yes!” said the figure at the door, “And this is a notice from theBirthday Boy!”
Santa asked Mrs Santa for his glasses and sat down to read the official document sent to him on Christmas Day, “I’ve been accused of impersonation and theft!” cried Santa, “Whoever could accuse me of such?”
“The Birthday Childwho’s birthday you stole!” said the lawyer.
“How could I have stolen his birthday?” asked Santa, and then watched with surprise as Mrs Santa nodded her head, “I told you, you’ve been doing so husband, and you never listened to me! You go around in that sleigh of yours, creep down chimneys, kiss young mothers under Christmas trees, and I’ve been warning you you’re stealing someone else’s birthday!”
Santa looked crestfallen and stared at the lawyer, “It’s them people of the world, they started thinking Christmas was all about me!”
The tall lawyer held the door open.
“You want me to leave?” asked Santa and Mrs Santa nodded, “You want me to leave right now?”
“Along with your reindeer, and sleigh and those gifts you carry!” said the lawyer as he continued holding the door open and let Santa, his missus and the reindeer out.
Mrs Santa stood outside a moment, before she got onto her husband’s sleigh, she watched as a young couple with a baby walked into her home. They sat down next to a crib, in a manger full of hay. She saw cattle with gentle eyes looking into the crib, and she got off her sleigh and walked to the manger. The mother looked up and smiled at her and then she along with the shepherds and angelssang to the baby Jesus who’s celebration it actually was…
Joy to the world, the Lord is come, let earth receive her king
Let every heart prepare him room, and Heaven and Nature sing,
And Heaven and Nature sing, and Heaven, and Heaven and Nature sing!
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During the last and final test between Sri Lanka and India, pollution masks were worn by the Sri Lankan team on the field, with cricketer SurangaLakmal even vomiting on the field.
“I think we are making a mountain of a molehill!” said an Indian political heavy weight who lived in the capital, “Masks have always been worn in the Indian capital, and it is only right that when in Rome do what we Romans do!”
“Whoa! Whoa!” I exclaimed as another Sri Lankan player started coughing and throwing up on the field and their harried doctor was called to assist him in his breathing, “How could you make such a callous statement?”
“Well,” said the politician, “Just look at our PM!”
I looked in the direction of Gujarat where I saw a white-bearded white-haired man campaigning for the elections, “Surely you are wrong?”
“Look closely,” smiled the seasoned politician, “Is this the same man who you see in Delhi? Is this the same man who hugged Trump a few months back, who warmly congratulated the Miss World last week?”
“No!” I said rather reluctantly, “he speaks rough and actsharshly!”
“In Delhi he’s one man, during elections another man? Do you think there are two men? One so pleasant and patient and the other blowing volcanic fire, spewing venom with vengeance on all his opponents while campaigning?”
“It’s strange!” I whispered.
“It’s a mask!” said the seasoned politician. “As soon as he steps into Delhi he starts wearing a mask of humility and meekness!Now forget the Prime Minister, can you see that boy over there?”
“Yes!” I said as I saw a boy with dimpled cheek running towards his mother. “Seems quite a sweet little fellow! I like the way he’s running, just to be hugged!”
“Now watch his front door as he steps out again, wearing his mask!”
A little later I watched the door open and a confident man stepping out, eyes focused and speech ready to be delivered. I watched as he boarded a plane to an election state and watched as he delivered a biting speech against Modi, “Why!” I said with astonishment, “That’s Rahul Gandhi!”
“The same little boy you saw running to be cuddled stepped out a different man, how?” asked the political heavy weight smirking at me, “Tell me how?”
“He’s got a mask on!” I admitted lamely.
“Exactly!” said the politician turning in the direction of Sri Lanka, “When the capital of our country requires you to put on a mask, just put it on and don’t complain!”
“The Sri Lankans had to do it, because everybody in Delhi does it!” I agreed, shrugging my shoulders as the bus with the island’s cricketers, staring with agony through their pollution masks, drove straight to the hospital..!
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