T’was friendly banter taking place twixt the new Parliament building and the old one, as they stood opposite each other, one empty and about to be converted into a museum and the other spilling with elected members, joyous over their new structure.

“So Oldy, you are over and done with!” laughed the new building, “They say you wouldn’t have lasted if an earthquake had hit the capital!”

Very often I pass church, temple or mosque and see crowds outside. Initially I used to think that God must be so pleased to have so many worshipping him, till I realized very few came to worship, most came to barter with him, “God, please give me a promotion, and I will give you my whole month’s salary!” or “I will come to church every Sunday!” or “I will give up smoking or drinking!”

Many actresses all over the world are adopting children and rearing them without a father. But at some stage they realize the child needs a dad in their lives, and off they troop in search of a dad. Here I am going to place an imaginary scene where an actress goes over to the Institute of Daddys and says, “Principal sir, I need a father for my kids!”

The Principal looks at her, wishes he was younger, but hastily puts aside such naughty thoughts and says, “You may choose! Here’s the first one; a bit domineering though!”

“Domineering!” says the actress, “that means he’ll bring my kids up with authority!”

After most cases of rape, assaults, kidnapping, or any crime, what one hears so often is the police station refusing to register a complaint because it is not in their area!

“Police! Police! Quick, run after the thief. I was assaulted and robbed!”

“Where were you assaulted?” asks the inspector, smiling.

“I was walking from Colaba to VT Station, when this rogue stabbed me!”

Every day around the time I start writing this column, I hear a loud sound like rolling thunder. The first day I thought the army was sending tanks after me, about something I’d written, and shook with fear, till my wife said it was okay, and it was just our neighbour’s son with his motorbike!

“That’s the boy who’s bought himself a Harley-Davidson,” I said, “why has he fiddled with the silencer, to create such a loud sound?”